We're Only Here for the Banter!

We’re Only Here for the Banter!

Oh, the fucking Banter Boys!

If there were ever two characters who could turn an ordinary conversation into something absolutely ridiculous, it was Gary and James from Chewin’ the Fat.

Two posh blokes who couldn’t get enough of a bit of proper Glasgow patter.

Most folk would go into a shop, buy what they needed and bugger off home.

Not these two.

They were there for the experience. The atmosphere. The insults. The glorious sound of somebody giving them a right mouthful.

“We’re only here for the banter!”

Imagine Paying to Get Insulted

That’s what made these two so funny.

Most of us would be raging if a taxi driver took the piss out of us.

Gary and James? They’d probably give him a tip.

They were absolutely fascinated by ordinary Glaswegian life, treating a bit of everyday patter like some sort of exotic cultural experience.

And the more somebody shouted or swore, the happier they seemed to be.

You couldn’t make it up.

Well, Ford Kiernan and Greg Hemphill could, obviously.

Watch the Classic Sketch

Scottish Patter Is Something Else

The thing is, Scottish banter really is a language of its own.

You can call your best mate every name under the sun and he’ll know you’re only having a laugh.

But say the exact same thing to somebody who doesn’t understand the patter and they’ll think you’re about to leather them.

That’s what Chewin’ the Fat understood so well. It took the wee things about Scottish life that we barely noticed and made them absolutely hilarious.

Gary and James weren’t interested in sightseeing, fancy restaurants or a nice quiet afternoon.

They just wanted somebody to give them a bit of cheek.

And all these years later, whenever somebody mentions “the banter”, I still think of these two daft bastards.

Absolute comedy gold.